cold winter nights

The last few days I have been feeling extremely antsy, and it only gets worst at night.

This has been going on around this time of year for the last few years. I guess I notice that another year past and I am still basically in the same place as I was before.

I want to do something to get out of this mess of a life but I just don’t know what to do. I want a job but with the countless job applications, I fill get no replies expect a few from companies that end up being job scams. I just wish I knew what I am doing wrong it the job hunt area.

I have been trying to get my license for damn near 10 years but I never get any help, in that field. It’s always one thing or another. I don’t know why I keep expecting help. Right now, I thought if I could get the my grandmother’s car fixed I could use that to re learn how to drive (because it’s been a while since I have been behind the wheel) and use the automobile as my own. But the cars tabs needs to be up dated. My mother said she was going to get new tabs…but I feel once again she is jerking me on this, since she always seems to say she would help me and it never happens.

Why do I keep falling for this I don’t know.

This feeling of having to do something quick to improve my life has only gotten worst because for some odd reason I have bad feeling I am going to die next year. I keep getting flashes that my bathroom floor is going to break and I am going to fall throw.

Am I just going crazy, maybe. I hope I don’t die next year my life would be very very unsatisfying